Loving Leaders Are not Jealous or Braggarts
“Love is not jealous; love does not brag” (1 Cor. 13:4).
After stating the two precious qualities of patience and kindness, Paul switches to eight negative statements describing what love does not do. What it is not.
Love is not
1. Jealous
2. Boastful
3. Arrogant
4. Rude
5. Selfish
6. Easily Angered
7. Unforgiving
8. Joyful over evil…. But rejoices with the truth
These eight vices are totally incompatible with love and the cross of Christ. In brief, they all express the self-centered, sinful life. These self-oriented patterns of behavior tear down human relationships, divide churches, split elderships and deaconships, and spoil the loveliness that should characterize the community of the new commandment.
The good news is that love is not this way. The Lord Jesus Christ did not act this way. And Christian leaders should not behave this way. So we have an objective standard before us to help us correct our loveless behavior and to guide us on the road called the “more excellent way.”
Love is Not Jealous.
Paul tops the negative list with a poisonous vice that has wrecked countless relationships and divided many churches--jealousy and envy. The Bible says jealousy is “demonic” (James 3:14, 15), a work of the flesh (Gal. 5:20), “an evil eye” (Matt. 20:15), “rottenness to the bones” (Prov. 14:30), and a fearsome emotional power: “Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, But who can stand before jealousy” (Prov. 27:4)? Nathanial Vincent pointedly expresses the tormenting, petty, hateful spirit of jealousy:
How much of hell is there in the temper of an envious man! The happiness of another is his misery, the good of another is his affliction. He looks upon the virtue of another with an evil eye, and is as sorry at the praise of another as if that praise were taken away from himself. Envy makes him a hater of his neighbor, and his own tormentor.”[i]
Love, however, “does not burn with envy.”[ii] “Love never boils with jealousy.”[iii] It’s not resentful of others’ good fortune or accomplishments. It’s not suspicious or distrustful of another’s advancements or popularity. It is not covetous of others’ possessions or position. It doesn’t desire to pull others down or their misfortune. Jealousy is totally incompatible with love because it divides and tears down people, whereas love units and builds-up people. Jealousy divided the church at Corinth and contradicted their empty boast of being spiritual people: “For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?” (1 Cor. 3:3).
A Jealous King. The classic Old Testament story of the jealous leader and a gifted servant is Saul and David. Almost immediately after David’s stunning victory over the giant Goliath, King Saul became jealous of him.
Of course there was much to envy about David. He was young, handsome, strong, brilliant, multi-talented, popular with the people, a successful warrior, and abundantly blessed by God in all that he did. “So his name was highly esteemed” (1 Sam. 18:30).
David was so popular and successful that the women sang, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (1Sam 18:7). This comparison of Saul’s victories with David’s greater achievements enraged Saul and stirred up the vilest passions of jealousy, so that he hated David and opposed him at every turn and spoke evil against him at every opportunity. He thought only of David’s downfall.
Rather then repent of his jealousy and seek God’s help and acknowledge David as God’s gift to the people, Saul gave full vent to his jealousy. Saul’s jealousy led to hatred, paranoia, personal misery, and murderous schemes.
A Common Temptation. None of us are immune from petty, self-centered jealousy. The most committed missionaries and devout servants of the Lord have struggled with the sin of jealousy. Among the first team of missionaries to sail for China with the newly formed China Inland Mission, jealousy became epidemic. Hudson Taylor, founder and director of the China Inland Mission,[iv] writes,
The feeling among us appears to have been worse than I could have formed any conception of. One was jealous because another had too many dresses, another because someone else had more attention. Some were wounded because of unkind controversial discussions, and so on.[v]
George Muller, the founder of the Ashley Down orphanage in Bristol, England, and man of extraordinary faith and prayer, confessed his own jealous feelings towards his close friend and co-worker, Henry Craik. While co-pastoring with Craik at a church in Bristol, Muller saw that people enjoyed Mr. Craik’s teaching more than his own. Craik was not only an excellent teacher and preacher, he was a first rate classical and Hebrew scholar. To this jealous spirit, Mr. Muller responded:
When in the year 1832, I saw how some preferred my beloved friend’s ministry to my own, I determined, in the strength of God, to rejoice in this, instead of envying him. I said, with John the Baptist, “A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven” (John 3:27). This resisting the devil, hindered separation of heart. [vi]
Muller’s and Craik’s friendship and labors together lasted for thirty-six years, until Craik died.[vii] Although both were strong, multi-gifted men with quite different personalities, their thirty-six-year relationship was a public testimony to the power and beauty of Christian love. Mr. Muller was well-known for his many life-long friendships with people like Hudson Taylor, Charles Spurgeon, D. L. Moody, Robert Chapman, and many others. Jealous people, unfortunately, have few real friends and many conflicts.
Be aware that jealousy is a common sin among the Lord’s people and among Christian leaders. Pastors can go to bizarre extremes to eliminate gifted people from the church who threaten them. Churches can envy other churches that are larger and growing rapidly; missionaries can burn with envy towards other missionaries who are more fruitful and better supported. Small group Bible study leaders can envy more popular Bible study leaders; singers can envy other singers who get to sing more and receive louder applause; elders can envy fellow elders who shine brighter in leadership ability, knowledge, and wisdom; deacons can envy fellow deacons who are more dedicated.
Love Delights in the Successes and Talents of Others. Love is large hearted, other-oriented, and full of good will towards others. It delights in other’s prosperity, indeed, it seeks to promote others. “When love sees someone who is popular, successful, beautiful, or talented, it is glad for them and never jealous or envious.”[viii]
The loving Barnabas, Paul’s friend and co-worker, rejoiced over Paul’s giftedness and invited him into significant ministry opportunities with himself as a co-worker teaching in the church at Antioch (Acts 11:19-26). The loving Jonathan, King Saul’s son, rejoiced over David’s giftedness and sought to protect and advance David’s leadership, jeopardizing his own future position as king (1 Sam. 23:16, 17). How different he was from his jealous father. So consciously practice love that rejoices at the successes and talents of others, that seeks to advance others’ ministry opportunities, and that treats the prosperity and giftedness of others as if it were one’s own (1 Cor. 12:25, 26). You will be happier for it. You will be content and blessed, and God will be pleased.
Love is not jealous, the Lord Jesus Christ was not jealous, and you should not be a jealous leader.
Love Does Not Brag. Like the sin of jealousy, bragging is a sinful preoccupation with one’s self; specifically it is a craving for attention for one’s self. Braggarts want others to envy them for their abilities, education, knowledge, or successes. Because they want to be noticed and praised, they speak too highly and too much of themselves.
The trumpet-blowing Pharisees shamelessly craved attention. Jesus said they love the front seats in the synagogue, respectful greetings on the street, and to parade their religious deeds in public in order to be seen by people and be praised for their religious piety. In the church at Corinth believers bragged about their superior wisdom, their favorite teachers’ speaking skills, their spiritual giftedness, and their triumphant spiritual experiences. They were full of themselves, not love. Pride of self, not concern for others, compelled them to brag of themselves.
A missionary evangelist came to my home, along with others, for dinner. For three hours he never stopped talking about himself, and all his ministries and success, and how hard he worked, how much he traveled, and how blessed he was of God. Not once, however, during the long evening meal did he inquire about others at the table. But that’s not surprising, self-oriented people aren’t really interested in others. That’s why they don’t ask questions or inquire about other people’s lives. It’s of no concern to them. Their interest is in others’ recognizing them.
I was at a church conference that had hundreds of book and ministry exhibits. Our exhibit booth was next to a ministry booth with an internationally known pastor and author. The entire time he was at his booth he talked non-stop about himself. Since we were no more than 10 feet away we couldn’t help but hear him praise himself hour on end for two days. He told every person he talked to how large his church was, how many people were on his staff, and how large the church budget was. He was especially good at dropping the names of the famous people he knew and places he had preached. He was a braggart, in love with his own talents and achievements, showing little interest in the lives of those who visited him. Braggarts build themselves up, jealous people tear others down, but only loving people build other people up.
Love Promotes and Praises Others. Those possessed of Christ’s love delight in focusing attention on others, pushing others to center stage, or sharing the spotlight of attention with others. Love lifts up others. It’s other oriented, not self-oriented. It shies from speaking of itself. Furthermore, loving, sensitive people don’t brag because they know that people can be easily provoked to jealousy, and they don’t want to cause others to be jealous or sin.
This, however, doesn’t imply that you never talk about yourself or allow others to inquire about your interests or ministries. Like Paul and Barnabas, missionaries need to report of God’s work through their labors to those who love and support them (Acts 14:27; 15:3). Skillful teachers often use illustrations taken from their personal experiences to communicate effectively (Gal. 2:1-14). There’s a difference, however, between speaking about your self in a non-boastful way and bragging in a self-centered, self-exalting way. The braggart uses people as an audience to show off and to receive personal praise. A missionary friend of mine told me this story about the young Billy Graham. On the way back to Africa in the early 50’s, he found himself on board ship with Billy Graham. Graham was on his way to the London Crusade. The two men spent time talking and praying together. But here is what touched my missionary friend deeply. During their times together, Graham asked many questions about his life and ministry in Africa. He was genuinely interested in his work. He particularly observed that Billy Graham rarely spoke about himself or his phenomenal experiences as a world evangelist. At the end of their voyage, the missionary asked Graham how he could pray for him. Billy answered, “Pray that I will be a humble man.” Humble people are not braggarts.
Love does not brag, the Lord Jesus Christ did not brag, and you shouldn’t brag about yourself.
[i] Nathaniel Vincent, A Discourse Concerning Love (1684; reprint, ed., Morgan: Soli Deo Gloria, 1998), 82.
[ii] Anthony C. Thiselton, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, NIGTC (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2000), 1048.
[iii] Charles B. Williams, The New testament (1937; Chicago: Moody, 1954), 383.
[iv] The China Inland Mission became in 19?? The Overseas Missionary Fellowship.
[v] A.J. Broomhall, Hudson Taylor and China’s Open Century, 6 vols., vol. 4: Survivor’s Pact (London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1984), 182.
[vi] W. Elfe Tayler, Passages from the Diary and Letters of Henry Craik of Bristol (London: Paternoster, n.d.), xiii.
[vii] His biographer notes: “No feature of Mr. Craik’s character was more conspicuous than that of love. It beamed forth in his countenance, it betrayed itself in the very tones of his voice, and his life was a practical comment on that word, ‘Do good to all.’ Hence his earnestness of manner in preaching; hence his acute sensibility in contemplating the prospects of humanity; hence his intense sympathy with the sorrows of others, and his extreme affection towards his friends, and especially the members of his family. Surely a more loving, sympathizing spirit has rarely left this world.” (Tayler, Passages from the Diary and Letters of Henry Craik of Bristol, 307).
[viii] John MacArthur, 1 Corinthians (Chicago: Moody, 1984), 340.
After stating the two precious qualities of patience and kindness, Paul switches to eight negative statements describing what love does not do. What it is not.
Love is not
1. Jealous
2. Boastful
3. Arrogant
4. Rude
5. Selfish
6. Easily Angered
7. Unforgiving
8. Joyful over evil…. But rejoices with the truth
These eight vices are totally incompatible with love and the cross of Christ. In brief, they all express the self-centered, sinful life. These self-oriented patterns of behavior tear down human relationships, divide churches, split elderships and deaconships, and spoil the loveliness that should characterize the community of the new commandment.
The good news is that love is not this way. The Lord Jesus Christ did not act this way. And Christian leaders should not behave this way. So we have an objective standard before us to help us correct our loveless behavior and to guide us on the road called the “more excellent way.”
Love is Not Jealous.
Paul tops the negative list with a poisonous vice that has wrecked countless relationships and divided many churches--jealousy and envy. The Bible says jealousy is “demonic” (James 3:14, 15), a work of the flesh (Gal. 5:20), “an evil eye” (Matt. 20:15), “rottenness to the bones” (Prov. 14:30), and a fearsome emotional power: “Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, But who can stand before jealousy” (Prov. 27:4)? Nathanial Vincent pointedly expresses the tormenting, petty, hateful spirit of jealousy:
How much of hell is there in the temper of an envious man! The happiness of another is his misery, the good of another is his affliction. He looks upon the virtue of another with an evil eye, and is as sorry at the praise of another as if that praise were taken away from himself. Envy makes him a hater of his neighbor, and his own tormentor.”[i]
Love, however, “does not burn with envy.”[ii] “Love never boils with jealousy.”[iii] It’s not resentful of others’ good fortune or accomplishments. It’s not suspicious or distrustful of another’s advancements or popularity. It is not covetous of others’ possessions or position. It doesn’t desire to pull others down or their misfortune. Jealousy is totally incompatible with love because it divides and tears down people, whereas love units and builds-up people. Jealousy divided the church at Corinth and contradicted their empty boast of being spiritual people: “For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?” (1 Cor. 3:3).
A Jealous King. The classic Old Testament story of the jealous leader and a gifted servant is Saul and David. Almost immediately after David’s stunning victory over the giant Goliath, King Saul became jealous of him.
Of course there was much to envy about David. He was young, handsome, strong, brilliant, multi-talented, popular with the people, a successful warrior, and abundantly blessed by God in all that he did. “So his name was highly esteemed” (1 Sam. 18:30).
David was so popular and successful that the women sang, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands” (1Sam 18:7). This comparison of Saul’s victories with David’s greater achievements enraged Saul and stirred up the vilest passions of jealousy, so that he hated David and opposed him at every turn and spoke evil against him at every opportunity. He thought only of David’s downfall.
Rather then repent of his jealousy and seek God’s help and acknowledge David as God’s gift to the people, Saul gave full vent to his jealousy. Saul’s jealousy led to hatred, paranoia, personal misery, and murderous schemes.
A Common Temptation. None of us are immune from petty, self-centered jealousy. The most committed missionaries and devout servants of the Lord have struggled with the sin of jealousy. Among the first team of missionaries to sail for China with the newly formed China Inland Mission, jealousy became epidemic. Hudson Taylor, founder and director of the China Inland Mission,[iv] writes,
The feeling among us appears to have been worse than I could have formed any conception of. One was jealous because another had too many dresses, another because someone else had more attention. Some were wounded because of unkind controversial discussions, and so on.[v]
George Muller, the founder of the Ashley Down orphanage in Bristol, England, and man of extraordinary faith and prayer, confessed his own jealous feelings towards his close friend and co-worker, Henry Craik. While co-pastoring with Craik at a church in Bristol, Muller saw that people enjoyed Mr. Craik’s teaching more than his own. Craik was not only an excellent teacher and preacher, he was a first rate classical and Hebrew scholar. To this jealous spirit, Mr. Muller responded:
When in the year 1832, I saw how some preferred my beloved friend’s ministry to my own, I determined, in the strength of God, to rejoice in this, instead of envying him. I said, with John the Baptist, “A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven” (John 3:27). This resisting the devil, hindered separation of heart. [vi]
Muller’s and Craik’s friendship and labors together lasted for thirty-six years, until Craik died.[vii] Although both were strong, multi-gifted men with quite different personalities, their thirty-six-year relationship was a public testimony to the power and beauty of Christian love. Mr. Muller was well-known for his many life-long friendships with people like Hudson Taylor, Charles Spurgeon, D. L. Moody, Robert Chapman, and many others. Jealous people, unfortunately, have few real friends and many conflicts.
Be aware that jealousy is a common sin among the Lord’s people and among Christian leaders. Pastors can go to bizarre extremes to eliminate gifted people from the church who threaten them. Churches can envy other churches that are larger and growing rapidly; missionaries can burn with envy towards other missionaries who are more fruitful and better supported. Small group Bible study leaders can envy more popular Bible study leaders; singers can envy other singers who get to sing more and receive louder applause; elders can envy fellow elders who shine brighter in leadership ability, knowledge, and wisdom; deacons can envy fellow deacons who are more dedicated.
Love Delights in the Successes and Talents of Others. Love is large hearted, other-oriented, and full of good will towards others. It delights in other’s prosperity, indeed, it seeks to promote others. “When love sees someone who is popular, successful, beautiful, or talented, it is glad for them and never jealous or envious.”[viii]
The loving Barnabas, Paul’s friend and co-worker, rejoiced over Paul’s giftedness and invited him into significant ministry opportunities with himself as a co-worker teaching in the church at Antioch (Acts 11:19-26). The loving Jonathan, King Saul’s son, rejoiced over David’s giftedness and sought to protect and advance David’s leadership, jeopardizing his own future position as king (1 Sam. 23:16, 17). How different he was from his jealous father. So consciously practice love that rejoices at the successes and talents of others, that seeks to advance others’ ministry opportunities, and that treats the prosperity and giftedness of others as if it were one’s own (1 Cor. 12:25, 26). You will be happier for it. You will be content and blessed, and God will be pleased.
Love is not jealous, the Lord Jesus Christ was not jealous, and you should not be a jealous leader.
Love Does Not Brag. Like the sin of jealousy, bragging is a sinful preoccupation with one’s self; specifically it is a craving for attention for one’s self. Braggarts want others to envy them for their abilities, education, knowledge, or successes. Because they want to be noticed and praised, they speak too highly and too much of themselves.
The trumpet-blowing Pharisees shamelessly craved attention. Jesus said they love the front seats in the synagogue, respectful greetings on the street, and to parade their religious deeds in public in order to be seen by people and be praised for their religious piety. In the church at Corinth believers bragged about their superior wisdom, their favorite teachers’ speaking skills, their spiritual giftedness, and their triumphant spiritual experiences. They were full of themselves, not love. Pride of self, not concern for others, compelled them to brag of themselves.
A missionary evangelist came to my home, along with others, for dinner. For three hours he never stopped talking about himself, and all his ministries and success, and how hard he worked, how much he traveled, and how blessed he was of God. Not once, however, during the long evening meal did he inquire about others at the table. But that’s not surprising, self-oriented people aren’t really interested in others. That’s why they don’t ask questions or inquire about other people’s lives. It’s of no concern to them. Their interest is in others’ recognizing them.
I was at a church conference that had hundreds of book and ministry exhibits. Our exhibit booth was next to a ministry booth with an internationally known pastor and author. The entire time he was at his booth he talked non-stop about himself. Since we were no more than 10 feet away we couldn’t help but hear him praise himself hour on end for two days. He told every person he talked to how large his church was, how many people were on his staff, and how large the church budget was. He was especially good at dropping the names of the famous people he knew and places he had preached. He was a braggart, in love with his own talents and achievements, showing little interest in the lives of those who visited him. Braggarts build themselves up, jealous people tear others down, but only loving people build other people up.
Love Promotes and Praises Others. Those possessed of Christ’s love delight in focusing attention on others, pushing others to center stage, or sharing the spotlight of attention with others. Love lifts up others. It’s other oriented, not self-oriented. It shies from speaking of itself. Furthermore, loving, sensitive people don’t brag because they know that people can be easily provoked to jealousy, and they don’t want to cause others to be jealous or sin.
This, however, doesn’t imply that you never talk about yourself or allow others to inquire about your interests or ministries. Like Paul and Barnabas, missionaries need to report of God’s work through their labors to those who love and support them (Acts 14:27; 15:3). Skillful teachers often use illustrations taken from their personal experiences to communicate effectively (Gal. 2:1-14). There’s a difference, however, between speaking about your self in a non-boastful way and bragging in a self-centered, self-exalting way. The braggart uses people as an audience to show off and to receive personal praise. A missionary friend of mine told me this story about the young Billy Graham. On the way back to Africa in the early 50’s, he found himself on board ship with Billy Graham. Graham was on his way to the London Crusade. The two men spent time talking and praying together. But here is what touched my missionary friend deeply. During their times together, Graham asked many questions about his life and ministry in Africa. He was genuinely interested in his work. He particularly observed that Billy Graham rarely spoke about himself or his phenomenal experiences as a world evangelist. At the end of their voyage, the missionary asked Graham how he could pray for him. Billy answered, “Pray that I will be a humble man.” Humble people are not braggarts.
Love does not brag, the Lord Jesus Christ did not brag, and you shouldn’t brag about yourself.
[i] Nathaniel Vincent, A Discourse Concerning Love (1684; reprint, ed., Morgan: Soli Deo Gloria, 1998), 82.
[ii] Anthony C. Thiselton, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, NIGTC (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2000), 1048.
[iii] Charles B. Williams, The New testament (1937; Chicago: Moody, 1954), 383.
[iv] The China Inland Mission became in 19?? The Overseas Missionary Fellowship.
[v] A.J. Broomhall, Hudson Taylor and China’s Open Century, 6 vols., vol. 4: Survivor’s Pact (London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1984), 182.
[vi] W. Elfe Tayler, Passages from the Diary and Letters of Henry Craik of Bristol (London: Paternoster, n.d.), xiii.
[vii] His biographer notes: “No feature of Mr. Craik’s character was more conspicuous than that of love. It beamed forth in his countenance, it betrayed itself in the very tones of his voice, and his life was a practical comment on that word, ‘Do good to all.’ Hence his earnestness of manner in preaching; hence his acute sensibility in contemplating the prospects of humanity; hence his intense sympathy with the sorrows of others, and his extreme affection towards his friends, and especially the members of his family. Surely a more loving, sympathizing spirit has rarely left this world.” (Tayler, Passages from the Diary and Letters of Henry Craik of Bristol, 307).
[viii] John MacArthur, 1 Corinthians (Chicago: Moody, 1984), 340.
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